I remember when we were growing up – many years ago, the world was so different and I suppose people were different as well. Neighbours were each other’s keeper; children could play within the neighbourhood without fear of being abducted or kidnapped. I remember there was crime to some extent but it wasn’t the kind of aggravated crimes we see and hear about these days. The world by then seemed less complicated and sophisticated than what we’re experiencing today. The world was pretty straight forward.
One of the things I remember very clearly was that (as children), our parents were always home by the time we were going to bed – we didn’t have to wait for them to come from long hours of work. Parents made time for their children, tucked them into their beds and in some cases, helped their children with their school work. The family unit was stronger and society was more coherent; family and societal values were upheld in most cases.
Most of us would agree that the world was probably less exciting in the absence of all these great technologies we see around us, however people had a lot more time at their disposal and made time for each other.
Now that I’m an adult, I look back to the ‘good’ old days with a sense of nostalgia as I try to make sense of seemingly challenging world we find ourselves in today. A lot has changed in our times and I believe a lot more will continue to change in the coming years. The two biggest changes are technology and the breakdown in the family unit. The most spectacular technological advancements are in the areas of mobile technology and the internet. Almost everything is available and probably possible with the use of these two technologies. Enough about the technological advancement; that’s not the core of my message
The core of my message is on the ‘challenges the family unit faces’ in the 21st century. Along with the technological advancement are the pressure on families and the competing demands on family resources. An emerging trend in most families is that both mum and dad are full time workers – in most cases, they are not just full time workers – they have long working hours and work extremely hard. Even though most people would probably deny this, it is a fact that many parents’ preoccupation (these days) is their job and how to make ends meet. This preoccupation with jobs cut across all income groups. Parents spend more time on their job at the expense of their families
Most parents leave home very early and unfortunately come home very late. One cannot always blame these parents; the socio-economic situation we find ourselves in forces most people (including parents) to work extra hard. Most children wake up to find that their parents have already left for work. This situation does not confine itself to parents and children; working siblings who live in the same house hardly see each other, roommates go through the same cycle and sometimes spouses are not exempt.
I believe people must work very hard however, I’m also concerned about the negative impact the long hours of working and long absence from home is having on families and other relations. Most people cannot remember the last time they sat down with their children, spouses and siblings to have some quality time – just talking and enjoying each other’s company. Many of us do not remember the last time we had a family meal together. The long absence from home (and the lack of attention) increases the vulnerability of children in particular who in the absence of their parents, occupy themselves with TV, mobile phones and computer games – of course we know the negative impact these have on children. In some homes, house maids have taken over the roles of parents and in some cases, wives. Relationships and family bonds have suffered as a result. Some wives have to sit in a couch for long hours waiting for the safe return of their husbands; most children give up the wait and retire to bed without a good night kiss from their parents; this cycle repeats itself throughout the week.
People get so tired as a result of long hours of work and once they get home, the only thing they have time for is a quick meal and a quick shower. Some people carry their laptops and other files home to continue their work. With the introduction of ‘email on the go’ gadgets like blackberry and other windows mobile phones, the situation is compounded. Believe me, the amount of time parents (and husbands) spend in checking their emails in a day is more than the total amount of time they spend talking to their families in a whole month.
Dear friend, have you ever paused to ponder over the stress you take your family through because you’ve prioritised your work over them? Hard work is good (in fact the bible commends hard work) however we need to be able to strike a good balance between work and the welfare of our families. Our families are yearning for our love and time – the least we can do, is to make some sacrifices for the sake of our families.
Let’s make a commitment to ourselves and our families to spend more time with the people we love (friends and families). It might not be easy in some cases (for example if you work under a boss who delights in spending his or her whole time in the office or if you are a single parent) however it is not impossible to create space and time for our families.
Work can be replaced, in fact in some cases, our employers might replace us however our families can NEVER be replaced and we need to invest our time in this formidable institution. It’s not too late – take the first today
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